Takes From a Tiny Life

POC

2007-02-19T02:08:00.000+03:00

So the Tiny girl is back...

Taking a break from blogging wasn't as "hard" as I'd expected it to be, I thought back then that I was growing addicted but in fact it was just another excuse to waste time.
Finished exams..phewww, what a long journey that was. It was tiring, boring, frustrating and far from rewarding. In short, they were 5 months of an ever rising curve of such painful experiences as adding weight and feeling incompetent. Days and nights in monotonously repeated cycles. The peak was the end of the written exams. Fact: the big bulk is over. Reality:I can't feel the release just yet. Holding it in for another month until the endless oral and clinical exams are over, and by then I'd have become "comfortably numb".
I celebrate my freedom nonetheless.

I deserve a break, but how can that be with bro getting married in a couple of weeks' time???!
Work work work...chores, shopping, cleaning, dieting, exercising, driving, grooming....etc.
But it was well worth it, turned out to be the best night of my life to date :)

So now with that circus all over, I collapse..literally. Physically and mentaly..I don't feel like moving a muscle, nor working a single brain cell. Currently in the process of picking myself up and re-activating those atrophied social skills. It's a tough job!!!
I am exhausted. And I am not the same person. Something is happening inside of me, something that involves re-evaluating my current life, resenting most of it and embracing little. I ponder for hours on end, and I catch myself speaking my mind to one of my friends. It's been said that teenage is the most painful part of one's life, but I beg to differ. I admit to enjoying the pain, as vague as the outcome seems at the moment. It's a slow process, but I feel something is giving way. Sooner or later.

Speaking of teenage: Take That are back!!!!!!!!!!

One Thing Before The "Big Pause"...

2006-11-05T13:09:00.000+03:00

Saddam Hussein has been sentenced to hang.
I can't bear to see another 'victory' for the US.
I feel terrible at the western pleased tone.
I can't take Bush's crap "that's why we'll fight in Iraq, and that's why we'll win in Iraq." Win?! What war? Against who?! Or rather for who?!

Now let's take a look at America's internal 'freedom and respect for humans', shall we?
You all have seen the movie "Back to The Future" and you all know the baby-faced darling Michael J Fox. He has Parkinson's disease, like the late Yasser Arafat and Mohammed Ali. It's a neurological disease due to substance imbalance in the brain. The patient is rigid like a board, he can't move his limbs, he walks with short steps like a woman in a kimono, he has an expressionless 'mask' face, and his lips and hand muscles shake in tremors when he's not making a voluntary action. So, back to MJF, who supports stem-cell reasearch to find a cure for this disease and does tv adds for Democrat candidates in the current Senate race. Here's an ad for a Missouri candidate. Over-medication does this dyskinesia (impairment of voluntary movements). In an attempt to babble less, here's a video that says it all, how respectful some Americans are to others, and to others' medical conditions.

I am not for or against stem-cell research, I have to read more to make up an opinion. I am not for Democrats or Republicans either, for all I care!! Even if I think the Republican Bush is a scam of a president and a politician. I am, strongly, against disrespect for other humans!!

P.S. Pinky&B, you were right...I just couldn't take the rage at the Saddam Hussein sentence.

Pause

2006-11-01T04:42:00.000+03:00

I'll take a break. Too much to study,too little time.

See you all by mid January.I'll miss you till then.
Take care.
*kisses*

Now I Can Be Happy Again

2006-10-25T02:44:00.000+03:00

This post was written a few days ago, but it's time for it to see the light.I cannot withhold such hallucinations anymore.I've given it the once-over, it's incoherent but makes sense to me.

Do I belong in this world?
Today I got a heavenly answer to that question that's been tormenting the life out of me. I keep getting those clear-cut signals one day after the other, one year after the other.
I don't belong in this day and time. It's like the whole point of growing up is coming to terms with this simple fact. I feel like wrapping up everything I was raised to believe in and flush it down the toilet! From honesty to integrity to decency...all fibs!
What were they thinking when they told me not to lie, or fool around, or fool others?? It's like hypocrite land here!! You say one thing while you are the exact opposite. It's the time-old story. You know how people can start telling lies, insulting your intelligence and taking you for a fool? I pity them for their innocent belief in their fib-telling talent! And then there are those who are very proud of something they have like a million dollars, and go waste it all in a hand of poker!! (That's a distant example but you get the picture)
Why do I care what others are doing? Because it sometimes gets to me. I am no island, I deal with those people day-in day-out. I am usually naive enough to believe them. I don't want to be so anymore, I don't want to be used or abused anymore, and I have every right. But if I do, then I might as well pack my things and go live in the desert, because every human I may -and probably is- double faced. That's harsh, I know, but if it will help me lose my vulnerability, be it.
Meg Ryan once said " Happy, smile.Sad, frown. Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion."
One last note: my best friend once said that if we let go of our standards, we lose our self-respect. True, Beezo. But seriously, would it kill me?! No,it wouldn't, I'll eventually learn to live with it, and maybe even beat others at their own game ;)

P.S. This post is not about my morals, standards, or others' frame of reference!

Serene

2006-10-19T07:17:00.000+03:00

I saw the dawn today. My heart is warm.My mind is serene.

Sunscreen

2006-10-14T03:15:00.000+03:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’97
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Thinking Aloud

2006-10-13T16:08:00.000+03:00

Blogs
A justified way to waste study time..or so I keep telling myself!
Found an excellent one. Link.

The routine
And it's a damned boring one.Goes something like this: wake up at 11 pm thinking it's too late already, make coffee i.e. nescafe and tasteless skimmed milk, fiddle through books to decide what to study, find something and read a page or 2, watch tv, study some more, lunchtime, nap time, up again, coffee again i.e. nescafe gold blend and whole milk, study, watch Friends, chat online -it's about 11 pm then, I find my friends in the US online- while studying -it's a gift:) , resume studying by 1 am, maximum concentration till 3 or 4 am -sometimes even 5 am, chat some more, and finally struggling to put myslef to sleep. I actually lie on bed forcing my eyes closed, it usually takes 20-30 minutes.

Breaking the routine
An occasional study over at a friend's -usually Cleopatrina. Or birthday outings.
Yesterday, I was invited to eftar at my cousin's, huge guest list, all friends of mine - rule: you know me you know my cousin, you know my cousin, you know me. It was an overall good affair, people were in groups and I got to practise my all-time favourite hobby... socializing!
The topics were: fresh graduate doctors: advice. Brother and fiancee: furnishing and flower arrangements. Agami friends/relatives: nonsense ie cars, kheyam, mosalsalat. Good friends: catching up on news.
I felt much better,refreshed and and repolished my mind, all set to resume the trip of a thousand and one book. And I actually thank God I had to study, do you believe that?! I am very satisfied with the life I am leading, I don't need more time, coz I'll only waste it, turn into an airhead like a big chunk of my society and end up talking silly , or more ambition, coz I'll turn into an A-top-of-the-class-student-always-wished-to-be-'cool-but-by-the-time-she- graduated-it-was-too-late and end up looking silly.

That's a wrap for now..see ya

ولا تعليق

2006-10-10T11:51:00.001+03:00

شوفوا معايا الخبر ده.. رجالة قاسية و ستات مقهورة و قضاء عادل!!
رفض الحديث معها بالأنجليزية ...فخلعته!

قضت محكمة الأسرة بالمعادى برئاسة المستشار محمود خليل بخلع زوجة تعمل مترجمة خريجة الجامعة الأمريكية من زوجها الطبيب لأنه لا يتحدث معها باللغة الأنجليزية داخل شقة الزوجية (!!) و رفضت الزوجة كل محاولات الصلح
و قالت الزوجة أنها سئمت الحياة معه بسبب اصراره على الحديث باللغة العربية على الرغم من أنه كان يتفانى فى خدمتها و ينفق ببذخ شديد عليها
ثم أضافت: تعرفت عليه فى احدى المؤتمرات العلمية و شاهدته يتحدث اللغة الأنجليزية بطلاقة و تعددت اللقاءات بيننا و وافقت على الزواج منه بشرط أن نتحدث سويا باللغة الأنجليزية إلا أنه بعد الزواج تبدل حاله و فوجئت به يتحدث باللغة العربية و يجبرني على الحديث معه بذات اللغة وكانت الطامة الكبرى عندما تحدث العربية مع زملائي فى حفل عيد ميلادى و تحاملت على نفسي شهرين كاملين(!!) و كلماته العربية تفتك بصدرى و تمزق قلبى

Q & A

2006-10-05T03:29:00.000+03:00

K jump to question #6 ;) You asked for it, you got it!

1) Are you happy/satisfied with your blog with its content and look?
I am satisfied with the look...but not the content. Haven't actually discussed what I have inside yet, not sure I'll ever will. I'll wait and see

2) Does your family know about your blog?
Mum and dad can't be less intersted in technology altogether. Bro does know, but again, little interest. It's like my e-mail, even if they find my inbox open, they won't peek.

3) Do you feel embarrassed to let your friends know about your blog or you just consider it as a private thing?
Why does it have to be either choice?! It's actually neither, I am not at all embarrassed and it ain't private at all...it's out there for every internet user on the globe to read!! But I wouldn't like some of the people I know to find about it, though. Why? Just because.

4) Did blogs cause positive changes in your thoughts?
They are just like every other channel where you can get to debate certain topics and maybe do change your perspective about one thing or another, share info, share some giggles...it's a fun community.

5) Do you only open the blogs of those who comment on your blog or you love to go and discover more by yourself?
Both. I explore, but not often..although when I do, I find some very interesting bloggers i.e. people with a view to something, not the utopian ones or those blogging to expose their lives, just for fun.

6) How would you describe the person who tagged you? (I made this question up, wasn't there in K's version)
"I thought, finally. A man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a s**t. And who can make that s**t feel like a woman. " Karen, Will&Grace

7) Did you try to imagine your fellow bloggers and give them real pictures?
No

8) Admit. Do you think there is a real benefit for blogging?
Yes, takes time off anything boring you're doing i.e. studying!

9) Do you think that bloggers society is isolated from real world or interacts with events?
No, they are very much in touch with the real world...what would they blog about if they were otherwise?!

10) Does criticism annoy you or do you feel it's a normal thing?
It's normal. I don't take blogging seriously anyways, just like most things in life.

2006-10-02T23:20:00.000+03:00

It's my birthday!!

"Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth." Ecclesiastes 12:1

7...And Counting

2006-09-16T15:16:00.000+03:00

Today is the first day of the seventh year.

I was young, and happy, and cheerful, and full of hope...and all the "I can do it, I can study hard and make superhuman efforts to get there" and all this crap. Now, 7 years later, I don't know where 'there' is!! 'There' is getting fuzzier by the minute- and I don't mean that in the sentimental /warm/purry sense, just the ugly one. It obviously takes more than 7 years for the picture to get clear *sigh*

I don't mean to moan I sure sound like it though.

The Good news, however, is only 4 months to go!!!!

P.S. Special congratz to Cleopatrina girl, it's her anniversary too ...hehehee

1996

2006-09-12T03:15:00.000+03:00

It's 3:30 am and I am staying up..not studying much, I decided to blog :)

It's 10 years since I

Finished 3rd prep, coming out top of my class and 3rd on Mante2et Ghamra Elta3elemeya- whatever the importance of this is!!? I was a machine zaman, not the case anymore though...AT ALL.
Had my first crush, complete with butterflies in my stomach and stalking plans
Lost 20 kilos in 6 weeks
Visited the US and Canada (only time ever). It's been 10 years but I remember it vividly, not all but most. At least I got to wave hello off of one of the 'late' Twin Towers :)
Read a whole book for the first time, it was called "The Freshman Papers" by a family friend- not a really close one, his mum is a friend of my aunt's. His name was Mohamed Nassar, as far as I remember. It was about this guy's freshman year at the AUC. Of course I had endless daydreams about college afterwards and whether I'll join the AUC as well, and who I am going to meet there, and the activities..etc. *sigh* I had no clue what a WAKSA KOBRA my college years would turn out to be in my Kasr El-Einy dumpster!!! Anyways, I still believe the book is cool.
Rediscovered my love for The Beatles, specially that song When I'm 64.It's one of the cutest songs eveeeeeeeeeeeer,

"When I get older losing my hair, Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine,
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?"

Together with the whole world, was introduced to the endless talent of Alanis Morissette. How could you possibly forget the first time you heard Ironic or You oughtta know?!!?!? I've been hooked ever since! OK I agree that her recent work is not as good as Jagged Little Pill but she still writes excellent music, less bitter, more sarcastic, even melancholic at times, but basically speaks my own mind way better than I do! Flinch at this one.

Bedtime!!

NERD?!

2006-09-01T13:47:00.000+03:00

Brainstorming for acronyms with a friend for NERD.. here are some of the results

Non Educated Restless Diva

Network Emergency Repair Dina

Never Ending Racial Debate

Never Ending Romantic Dilemma (my humble attempt)

New England Reptile Distributors (tahyeeees)

Non Eructive Reflux Disease

National Establishment for Real Dorks

And finally my personal favourite:

Narrative Explosive Reflective Dina

yuppppppppppppppppppppppppieeeeeeeeeeeeee

Three Way, My Way?!

2006-08-29T12:12:00.001+03:00

She has always been my friend, she intorduced me to him. I've seen them fall in love and fall apart. Now they are both my friends, only in 2 different worlds. I can cope,I am OK with the situation. I don't think they can!
They've both -presumably- moved on, but have they actually fell out of love?
Now I'll tell you the symptoms and you do the interpretation:
- I know she misses him
- I know he is lonely
- Neither have been in a serious relationship since they've broken up (almost 5 years ago)
- He asks me about her
- She gets nostalgic
and the list goes on..I think you get the picture.

What am I to do?I see them both suffer, but can I help? Is there anything I can do when they don't seem to give their relationship another chance, specially him?
She is my friend - note: she never asked me not to talk to him again- and I know exactly how she feels..but it's him that I can't figure out. If he's sure that she is a 'closed door', why do I hear his "how is she?" often?!
I'm no expert, and I am stuck in this three-way-tango that's getting me down. I always thought affairs of the heart should take care of themselves, God is there planning for everything, but could it be that I am His tool??!
Is there such a thing as the Curse of the First Love?? That keeps haunting you through your days and nights, practically making life unbearable. My heart goes out to both of them... but I feel so helpless!!
HELP!!!

Laughter Turns Into Tears

2006-07-30T15:04:00.000+03:00

Yes..there has been another Qana massacre..and Qana goes down in history for the third time

شاحبٌ كما وجهُ يسوع
وهواءُ البحرِ في نيسانَ،
أمطارُ دماءٍ ودموع...

دخلوا قانا على أجسادِنا
يرفعونَ العلمَ النازيَّ في أرضِ الجنوب
ويعيدونَ فصولَ المحرقة..
هتلرٌ أحرقهم في غرفِ الغاز
وجاؤوا بعدهُ كي يحرقونا
هتلرٌ هجّرهم من شرقِ أوروبا
وهم من أرضِنا هجّرونا
هتلرٌ لم يجدِ الوقتَ لكي يمحقَهمْ
ويريحَ الأرضَ منهم..
فأتوا من بعدهِ كي يمحقونا!!

دخلوا قانا كأفواجِ ذئابٍ جائعة..
يشعلونَ النّار في بيتِ المسيح
ويدوسونَ على ثوبِ الحسين
وعلى أرضِ الجنوب الغالية

ورأينا أمريكا ترتدي معطفَ حاخامٍ يهوديٍّ عتيق
وتقودُ المجزرة..
تطلقُ النارَ على أطفالنا دونَ سبب..
وعلى زوجاتنا دونَ سبب
وعلى أشجارنا دونَ سبب
وعلى أفكارنا دونَ سبب
فهل الدستورُ في سيّدة العالم..
بالعبريِّ مكتوبٌ لإذلالِ العرب؟؟
هل على كلِّ رئيسٍ حاكمٍ في أمريكا..
إذا أرادَ الفوزَ في حلمِ الرئاسةِ
قتلَنا، نحنُ العرب؟؟

ما الذي تخشاهُ إسرائيلُ من صرخاتنا؟
ما الذي تخشاهُ من "فاكساتنا"؟
فجهادُ "الفاكسِ" من أبسطِ أنواعِ الجهاد..
هوَ نصٌّ واحدٌ نكتبهُ
لجميعِ الشهداءِ الراحلين
وجميع الشهداءِ القادمين..!

نحنُ شعبٌ من عجين
كلّما تزدادُ إسرائيلُ إرهاباً وقتلاً
نحنُ نزدادُ ارتخاءً.. وبرودا..

وطنٌ يزدادُ ضيقاً
لغةٌ قطريةٌ تزدادُ قبحاً
وحدةٌ خضراءُ تزداد انفصالاً
شجرٌ يزدادُ في الصّيف قعوداً..
وحدودٌ كلّما شاءَ الهوى تمحو حدودا..!

كيفَ إسرائيلُ لا تذبحنا؟
كيفَ لا تلغي هشاماً، وزياداً، والرشيدا؟
وبنو تغلبَ مشغولون في نسوانهم...
وبنو مازنَ مشغولونَ في غلمانهم..
وبنو هاشمَ يرمونَ السّراويلَ على أقدامها..
ويبيحونَ شِفاهاً ونهودا؟؟!

ما الذي تخشاهُ إسرائيلُ من بعضِ العربْ...
بعدما صاروا يهودا؟

نزار قباني

Way To Go, Sha3ban!!

2006-07-30T13:13:00.000+03:00

Hilarious!!!

The 'Mountain' & its Repercussions

2006-07-19T20:42:00.000+03:00

This movie is excellent!

It's this blend of emotions, meloncholy, inhibitions, day-to-day struggles, facing reality...it's just beautiful. It speaks directly to the soul, a saga about 'forbidden love' - that kind of love that tried to make its way to our hearts but never got through our minds. It's that lost love, the love that couldn't have been, with its undeniable intoxication. The love story is pure and fresh. The flow of events and dialogue is graceful. The scenery is breath-taking. And taking you through all that is the flawless score. To top all that off the actors; Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, give the performances I'd say, of their lives.
The only drawback is that it's a very American movie,it's not a Western though -a relief.

So ever since I've seen this movie, I 've been telling people to give it a go..well, truth be told, I was only provoking reactions..and I got what I want *naughty smile*
Girls were like, "Oh really??! We've heard about it, but now you say it's good we'll definetly see it." Men, on the other hand, gave the most hilarious reactions," What the $^@*???!! I am NOT going to watch it..no way!! That's disgusting.It'd only make me want to puuuuke!!" Yeah, seriosuly, only ONE guy said he'd take my humble recommendation and see it (which makes me sad coz I can't stereotype now:) )
Of course, the best part of the movie is that it left me thinking.What about?

The question of forbidden/incomplete love, I mean come on..there's definetly something about sad love stories that grips us. It happens in real life- and when it does it's not as 'gripping' really- love stories that never get to see the light because of social barriers or religious ones..I am not saying that I am for that cause, absolutely not. I believe that love is only complete with the mating of minds, and that's fairly impossible to reach in that kind of love. I mean if you reach that stage in a love that you know, is doomed, then you've only got yourself to blame when it gets nasty, and eventually it will... happy endings happen only in Fantasy World. I just hope I am never an part of a relationship that's not going to last long for whatever reason...it's a heartache.
The agony of losing someone dear (not necessarily a lover), of having to let go and tolerate life without him/her.
Long distance relationships, their ups and downs, the mixed emotions of meeting your love and saying goodbye ever so often... all almost effortlessly depicted in Gyllenhaal expressions.

Speaking of Jake, this guy just ooooooozes with talent...I tell you,he's going to be the next Edward Norton!!!

I made sure, as I wrote this post, to give little account of the events, if any.. I don't want to ruin it for those of you who considered watching it, trust me you won't regret it:) Final note: this movie is rated R.

Me go study now to the music of the OST.. me grow addicted to it!!!:)

Today

2006-07-13T01:12:00.000+03:00

(To everyone who's reading this post: please don't look for ration in it, there's only little of that :) )

So it's the 13th day of the month again! Is there a way to take this day off the calender!??
I am not the superstitious kind but there must be a scientific explanation to that dreadful 13th.. I keep telling myself that it's all in my head but then comes another 13th and something goes wrong again. It's irrationally unpleasant. Can one hold grudge against a day, a period of time?? I don't care what the rest of the world think of the 13th or whether they agree or disagree on it, but for me..I've seen my fair share of mishaps on that day. The farthest I can think of was way back in 1996, I vividly rememeber the day...seriously!!!
Maybe I subconsciously -and superstitiously- get myself in a bad mood on those 24 hrs/month..it's a possibility...but you have to excuse me, it's only because of previous experience. It's sad but true; I don't like the 13th!!!
OK so, I am usually wiser than that..but I allow myself a few exceptions, the 'Fear of the13th' being top of the list :)) Let me rephrase that, it's not fear, it's not like I wouldn't get out of bed, or would take a different road to college or change anything of my daily routine..but I just wouldn't be surprised if I have a fight, or a car accident, or I hear a bit of bad news about someone dear..etc. I'd be prepared for absolutely anything to happen on that day!!!
Just for the record: I am OK with black cats, and I don't wear 'blue' a lot :)

Conclusion: 'The 13th' may be an urban legend.. but some Tiny girl out there believes in it.

While I was at it, thought I'd check my horoscope for the day -you see, Mercury is retrograde so unfortunate events are highly expected specially with communication related issues- and here it is:
" Sometimes, it's only when life gets difficult that it gets interesting. It's why, if you find yourself in a tough situation through no fault of your own, you can always find something valuable to learn from it. Whose fault is it that you now face a particular problem? Let's not go into that. Let's just say that Jupiter and Pluto, while they may be putting you through a testing time, are about to show you a brilliant new way to move forward."

Nah..I wouldn't count on Jupiter, or Pluto for that matter.

One Up, One Down

2006-07-05T12:11:00.000+03:00

ONE UP
Give me an I.. T... A.. L ..Y!!!!
The Italians have made it to the '06World Cup final...YUPPPPPPPIIIIIIEEEEEEE. I could barely believe myself last night as I watched them score 1 goal after the other, beating the Germans and sending them back home (not really "back", just "home") How did Del Piero and his mates do it!? I,the most optimistic of the Italians' supporters, dare not dream of seeing them in the final!! I have supported Italy for as long as I remember watching football altogether, and have usually been mocked for that.. ok so people tend to believe I support Italians coz they are handsome (oh well, they a r e *blush*) but no that's not the reason why. I have always felt sympathy towards Italians, they are like a luckier version of Egyptians, coz they are europeans.I have only met 1 Italian family in my life and they certainly made me love Italy to the multiples!!! They love life. They have a cozy family life like ours, their men are "7emsheen" , their women are beautiful when young but turn into loving middle-aged mums (gaining weight as they do) again needless to say "like ours". At night, they gather around dinner which is usually homemade and d e l i c i o u s, homemade wine, butter, pork, pizza, cheese (their version of our feteer and gebna beida and 3er2 sous I guess :) ). Last but not least, they have an unmistakable sense of fashion..all of them!! There's always a fashion twist in their wardrobes, from hairstyles to belts to jeans, even their eye glasses... it's amazing, I believe it's in their genes!
Anyways, back to their Blue team.. I love them and now that they made it to the final, they can see it through ro the Cup:))

ONE DOWN
I had a disturbing dream last night, tried to wake up right in the middle of it but could not. I tell you it wasn't fun. But that's not what I am blogging about. Here let me explain further..in the dream I hear bad news and cry. But I find no shoulder to cry on.One of my school friends showed up, only to be summoned a minute later by her husband (she is married in real life).. and I cried still. Then came a friend of mine whom I expected least to see in this dream...but who was a true comfort, really. I remember feeling much better in this friend's arms..the sobbing didn't stop though, it just changed into little cries ..soft and relieving. It was the sharing and the connection that most touched me.
Could this dream have any reflection of the truth in it?! That would be terrible, regardless of the bad news, where were my friends -the ones I do depend on?! Why did this particular friend show up!? I am not a person who believes in the hidden meaning in dreams, coz dreams are only projections of our souls. Again if they were so, then I should do some serious soul-searching -already exhausted at the energy needed for that!!

Thanx buddy for the effort, you know who you are..I owe you one;)

Word of Advice

2006-06-29T00:08:00.000+03:00

You can get to a position, but don't let the position go to your head.

Personal Remarks About The Martians

2006-06-27T14:10:00.000+03:00

Martians can be easily fooled, Venusians however are more intuitive.

To an intuitive Venusian, the company of a good-natured Martian is a bliss.

In his heart, every Martian looks up to only 1 Venusian, his mother.

Mean Martians are never attractive.

Sweetness works miracles with Venusians. Too much, though, is a turn-off.

It's true; Martains have lower pain threshold than Venusians.

You may come to think that Venusians are jealous creatures, but have you taken 5 to consider the Martian jealousy!?

Juvenility does not contradict virility.

No Martian is complete before meeting his Venus, only then does he reveal his true nature to her and to his fellow Martians.

If Tears Could Talk

2006-06-21T01:47:00.000+03:00

Today and for the first time in quite a while, I cried. On my way home from college,and on my 40 minute drive, I just let go and with no effort at all tears came flowing. They were silent tears, running one after the other. Why? I asked myself..and found no answer. There is no good reason, actually there is none, whether it be good or bad. It could be academic stress or physical exhaustion or any related worry -which is increasing by the day. But no, that's not it. I know what it is, putting it to words is a challenge though. I'll give it a shot anyways. I don't feel satisfied, it's like there's an emptiness inside that nothing can fill...it's a blank area in me, and it's bipartate.
One part is eaten out, nibbled at by life. I believe almost everyone's been through that and frankly nothing can be done about it.Just sit there and pray that one day all the meanness and abuse you've put up with silently pays off and you meet people even better than yourself to bear with your crap, lest you learn true humility.
The other part is more complicated, it's that yearn to prove myself, to succeed and accomplish, to become a successful woman -not particularly a successful career woman. I don't care to be a rocket scientist or a world famous physician, I just care to be good-natured, kind, wise eduacted.I care for others to love,respect and above all appreciate me.

Conclusion: one part is what I received, the other is what I could be giving.

I'll just assume that what I am experiencing now is all natural with life starting soon and future sneaking from around the corner. I have to decide who -not what- I want to become. It may all sound quite easy, but in fact it's a lot to ask a person who takes 30 minutes to decide what to waer everytime she leaves the house.

P.S. Part 2 of the Koln post is coming your way. Way too dark a mood now!

Summer '04

2006-06-16T16:14:00.000+03:00

With all eyes now on Germany because of the FIFA World Cup,I can't help but feel nostalgic for the 30 days and nights spent in this lively, colourful, happy, exciting country."Germany?!?!?!!?!?" you'd all wonder."Oh yes," I'd say. Contrary to you might think,Germany in the summer is just one big carnival! And the Germans?! They're cuuuuuuuuuuuuute!They are as serious as hell in the weekdays,but later in the day and on weekends it's ho ho ho ho...beer and dancing and festivals and shopping and the whole deal."What about arrogance and racism?"umm well,nothing of the sort happened to me or any of my Egyptian friends, but the Arabs I met there confirmed that Germans are prejudiced against other races and since it's the same elsewhere,the US, the UK, why do we expect the Germans to be any different!? Anyways,the beauty of Germany lies in 2 main points -that I've only come to appreciate after I crossed the borders to Austria which basically sucked-;

1-Each German city I visited had a different taste to it-from Serious Berlin to Posh Munich to Funky Hamburg.

2-Wherever you are in Germany,you feel secure. You are always in good hands and protected by the system- from purchasing an item to booking a train(Die Bahn-hehehe) ticket to seeing a patient in the hospital.
You might all accuse me of being ignorant for almost every "First World" country has a diversity of city charms and an efficient system, but I tell you in Germany,it's the real deal.I never imagined I'd fall in love with this coutry,but I did :)

That's it for the 'Visit Germany' ad and back to my post.In August '04, I went for an internship in the University of Cologne (a.k.a Koln) Hospital with 4 colleagues (only 2 of which I had known beforehand). Frankly speaking, I was little interested in medicine and much more fond of the idea of spending a whole month in a european country with students my age and all the -e7m e7m- fun that implied. Moreover, I hadn't heard of Koln so figured it was a small unknown city somewhere in Germany that would bore me to tears and I would end up taking weekly trips to Amsterdam or Brussels or any Schengen country. Anna (a friend of mine) had told me that it's a beautiful city but I was still skeptical-you see, she said it was the retirement place for rich Jews, now you know why I was skeptical. But to my amazement, Koln turned out to be a beautiful historical city overlooking the Rhein and home of Kolner Dom -a huge world famous cathedral (seems I did turn out to be ignorant after all!!!) But the better part was the university, because that meant young boys and girls, and all the caterers i.e. night spots and retail stores (what do you think those kids liked?museums!?) So we settled in our hostel and went out to discover the city and we met them...the best part of Koln...

(Details in the next post)

Here's Something

2006-06-14T10:04:00.000+03:00

I've come across this quote from a book I am reading,it's related to the previous post.

"Aim for Heaven and you get Earth;
Aim for Earth and you get neither."
-C.S. Lewis

كان ياما كان

2006-06-09T23:02:00.000+03:00

كان ياما كان راجل قرداتي فقير و غلبان... كل يوم ينصب النصبة و يطبل عالرق بتاعه و يتلموا حواليه الأولاد يتفرجوا عالقرد...و لما يخلص يلف عليهم بطربوشه القديم المتقطع يطلب قوت يومه بس محدش كان بيدفع ...مرت عليه الأيام صعبة و الفقر عدمه العافية لغاية لما جه اليوم اللي غير حياته... و هو قاعد في أوضته لقاها داخلة عليه جميلة و رقيقة و لابسه أحلى جواهر و زينة...سألها أنتي مين قالتله أنا الدنيا و جايالاك أنت هغير حياتك و أخيرا هتشوف معايا السعادة... وفعلا كان وعد الدنيا حقيقي و الفلوس كترت كأنها نازلة من السما والرجل الغلبان بقي تاجر كبير و وصل لمنصب شهبندر التجار... فكر يجوز ابنه و ملقاش حد يليق بيه غير بنت الملك...وافق الملك و اتعمل فرح كبير أيام و ليالي ...وهو واقف في الفرح جاله واحد و قاله فيه واحدة عايزاك رد و قال مش فاضي قاله الراجل طيب بس بصلها و أنت هتعرفها فعلا عرفها أزاي ينساها؟ دي الدنيا.... راحلها قالتله أنا ماشية قالها استني كمان شهر قالتله لأ قالها طيب كام يوم برضه قالت لأ قالها طيب ساعة واحدة وافقت الدنيا تستنى ساعة...راح جرى وجاب طربوشه القديم و الرق و وقف وسط الفرح و بصلها و طبل عالرق وقالها تيجي تيجي متجيش متجيش... لما شافته الدنيا .... تصدقوا أنها قعدت؟؟؟؟

يا صاحبي خلي الرق دايما في جيبك

Take 1

2006-06-07T00:40:00.000+03:00

So here I am

Never thought I'd actually go through with it but I did. Ok...I have to admit it took longer than I expected it to but it's out and you are actually reading it now..my first blog post:)

I don't know what to say...my mind's blank now.It's been a long day between studying, going to college, church then out, but that won't keep me from talking a bit.

According to some friends I, Dina, can make up a good blog.Why? Because I like to talk, share, express, analyze..etc. And this is all true..I am guilty as charged!
I am not going to talk much because most of you already know me well and the rest of you will get to know more if you keep watching this space.

Ciao for now